Why God never got a PhD

  1. He had only one major publication
  2. It was in Hebrew
  3. It had no references
  4. It wasn’t published in a refereed journal
  5. Some even doubt he wrote it by himself
  6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
  7. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results
  8. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects
  9. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects
  10. When subjects didn’t behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample
  11. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book
  12. Some say he had his son teach the class
  13. He expelled his first two students for learning
  14. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests
  15. His office hours were infrequent and often held on limited access mountain tops
  16. No record of working well with colleagues

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3 thoughts on “Why God never got a PhD

  1. Geez! You’re taking a risk insulting God so close to Christmas. He does have a special relationship with Santa, you know. One word in Santa’s ear can mean a lump of coal in your Christmas stocking instead of prezzies. (That’s if he doesn’t outright strike you down with a bolt of lightning!)
    Reading between the lines, do I hear frustration with the PhD-writing process from a PhD candidate? 😉

  2. Yeah – it’s a risk, I know… but I’ve never been one to shy away from stating a position…
    And the writing process – yes, perhaps it’s a timely bit of comic relief… 😉
    PS. Do you really think Santa might be influenced?

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